The Broadway-Musical Theme Park

One of my BoCo students recently sent me a Facebook message:

I never knew how I'd pay for college but I have a plan that may bring in the dough: a completely musical theatre-themed theme park. Can you imagine it?

- The Wicked Defying Gravity Coaster
- The Marvelous Wonderettes Candy Shoppe
- Sweeney Todd's House of Horror (a haunted house theme, you sit in barber chairs)
- The Gypsy Tilt-a-Whirl with "Rose's Turn" playing

...OMG, could go on forever!!

Cool idea, huh? Got me thinking about some other attractions at such a park. First, let's get the obvious out of the way:

- The Magic Show Magic Show
- The State Fair State Fair
- The Side Show Side Show
- The Carousel Carousel - featuring a real live barker (of course, it takes talent to do that well...)
- The Show Boat Show Boat
- The Carnival Carnival
- The Barnum Circus

Then there's the slightly more inspired:

- Assassins C'mere-and-Shoot-a-President Booth
- The Phantom of the Opera Falling Chandelier - visitors ride up 30 stories slowly then suddenly plunge
- Miss Saigon Flying Helicopters
- Cats Giant Spinning Tire
- The Starlight Express Indoor Light Show and Mini-Coaster
- Oklahoma! Box-Social Food Court
- A Chorus Line Bobsled Run (Woosh...I feel the snow, I feel the cold, I feel the air...)
- Les Miserables Barricade Jungle Gym
- The Music Man Gazebo Bandstand
- South Pacific WWII Airplane Ride
- Lady in the Dark Traveling Circus
- The Pirates of Penzance Log Flume Ride
- Grease T-Bird Bumper Cars
- Candide Auto-de-Fe Fun House
- Chicago/Cabaret Vaudeville Review
- La Cage aux Folles Drag Show
- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Flying Cars and/or Child-Catcher House of Kiddie Horrors
- Sweet Charity Plummeting Elevator and/or Ferris Wheel
- Mary Poppins Flying-Umbrella Gondola Ride
- The Steel Pier Boardwalk
- The Nine Grand Canal Tunnel of Love Cruise
- Peter Pan I'm-Flying Giant Swings
- Funny Girl Roller Skating Rink (Can *I* roller skate...?)
- Hello, Dolly! Sunday Clothes Train Ride
- The Annie NYC Movie Theater
- A Catered Affair Authentic Coney Island Roller Coaster
- The Big River White Water Rafting Ride
- Sunday in the Park With George Caricature Artists
- The Tarzan Bungee Jump
- The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas...er...maybe not...

Care to make some suggestions of your own, dear reader?

Comments

[Justin]

Ragtime - The antique cars you drive on a track. you can drive a model-t
On the 20th Century - Train that circles the park
Sweet Chairty - Ferris Wheel

As for the roller rink Chris, it could cover three shows in one attraction...The Rink, Xanadu, and Funny Girl

[Byrne]

The [title of show] vampire shooting gallery.

Sound of Music alpine bobsled ride.

[ccaggiano]

The Singing in the Rain Water Park?

[ccaggiano]

Don't forget Starlight Express.

[ccaggiano]

Oh, and speaking of Sound of Music, the animatronic marionette show.

[Cengiz]

-The Side Show Tunnel of Love
-The In The Heights Corner Store
-The Thoroughly Modern Millie Elevator Tap Dance (a game in which tap dancers can test there abilities by seeing if they can get to 100 on the elevator by Tap Dancing
-The Ladies Who Lunch Bar

And lets not forget the different worlds we could visit:
-Into the Woods
-Paris in Sunday in the Park with George
-Charlie Brown's World
-A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to The Forum land

this is soo much fun...I could go on and on and on

[Monica]

In terms of food, there could be the Sweeney Todd Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pies Shop. Or not.

The 9 to 5 String-Up-Your-Misogynistic-Boss Game Booth

[Gil]

PHANTOM is already a theme park ride in of itself. The only thing it's missing is a log flume through the underground layer, floating past the Phantom on his creepy gondola, and a bunch of audio-animatronic opera chorusfolk with pitchforks.

Watch out, that's the Chandelier! And WE'RE GOING TO DROP DOWN WITH IT!

(Hold your hands up for the souvenir photo. See that mirror? The Phantom is in the flume *with* you!)

[Geoff]

Well, this is just too much fun. I suggest a "flop island" section in the Caggiano Musical Theme Park. Hows about...

-The "Via Galactica" Trampoline Extravaganza
-The "Portofino" Italian Grande Prixe
-The "Ankles Away" Navy Gunship Ride (where patrons are encouraged to "Walk Like a Sailor")
-The "Whoop-Up" Rodeo (where patrons can "throw those bull")
-The "Jennie" Melodramarama (patrons are lashed to a torture wheel and rotated while encouraged to chant "Lonely Nights")
-The "Flahooley" Puppet Pagoda
-The "I Had A Ball" Coney Island Mystical Medium (where patrons can channel the spirit of Buddy Hackett)
-The "Subways Are For Sleeping" Underground Train Ride
-"The Gay Life" Carlsbad Spa Flume Ride or maybe a "Magic Moment" Mountain
-The "Anyone Can Whistle" Water From a Rock Geyser
-"The Body Beautriful" Prizefighting Arena.
-The "Dear World" Flea Market and Tea Room
-"The "Baker's Wife" Sweets Shop
-The "Flora The Red Menace" Flower Shop
-The "Kelly" Fall From The Brookline Bridge Ride
-"The Rink" Roller Skating Arena
-The "Carrie" Telekinesis Pavillion.

Of course, The "Candide" Auto-de-Fe Funhouse would be my idea of a good time, but Caggiano got there first.

[ccaggiano]

Geoff: As always, you are a force to be reckoned with.

[Susan Egan]

The "Paint Your Wagon" wild west Photo Booth where you can wear a costume and take a sepia-colored snapshot.

[ccaggiano]

Oh, Miss Egan. I loved you in The Secret Garden.

[The Resident Artist]

How about a Little Shoppe of Horrors?

[Scot Colford]

Aw crap. I wanted to say the Side Show tunnel of love. I'm behind on my feeds.

[Scot Colford]

Holy frijoles. Susan Egan. Egads.

[ccaggiano]

Scot, don't be too impressed. One of my students just signed in as Miss Egan as a joke.

[Nicky Gonzalez]

I can see how Dorney Park does Charlie Brown little justice.

[Tomas]

Every Monday there could be a Parade(Parade ;))